Last year in Lethbridge, I was on
the exec for the UCC and for the Ultimate club and so I did a lot of welcoming. I made an effort to know everyone’s name and
to remember something about them to ask for next time. I wanted people to feel comfortable and
loved. So it’s different being in France
now as that can’t be my role here. I’ve
met so many people and remember hardly anyone’s name, so I can’t be that
welcoming person that I’m used to being.
Instead, I have to take the role of being welcomed, of receiving instead
of giving, which I think can be humbling.
One of the things that I’ve been
getting involved in is the youth group activities here with the junior high and
high school students. My attitude towards
this has very much been: I have so much to give, I have been so blessed in my
life with my faith and I want to share that.
What I’m realizing is that I need to change that attitude. I need to stop having this focus of “giving.” I’m finding that this is separating me from
others. I just want to talk and share my
experience of Christ, to give to them what I’ve received, but this makes me
closed to receiving what they have to offer me.
From these youth groups, I have received a very warm welcome and I am receiving/learning
the ability to identify with high school and junior high kids. In the mean time, I don’t think I’ve managed
to “give” them anything. I just need to humble myself to receive this
welcome, this sharing of themselves with me.
And really, why would they be interested in learning about me, when I’m
not interested in learning about them?
I think it’s also a reminder that
really I have nothing to give. I think
my attitude that I have so much to give and share can be prideful. I’ve been reading this book about Mother
Teresa and she talks a lot about emptying oneself: “God cannot fill what is full. – He can fill
only emptiness- deep poverty- and your “Yes” is the beginning of being or
becoming empty. It is not how much we
really “have” to give- but how empty we are- so that we can receive fully in
our life and let Him live His life in us.” (Mother Teresa, Come be My Light). I think
it’s a challenge to realize that I am nothing and I have nothing to give since
I have been given so much in this life.
However, I think when I am able to realize that I have nothing to give,
when I do humble myself enough to become empty, God will be able to actually
work through me to give Himself to those whom I meet.
Today, I went to the homeless
shelter here in town to start volunteering.
(I don’t know if it’s really a homeless shelter, they give out drinks
and food and have programs for the homeless or people in difficulty.) I was welcomed very warmly and given a little
orientation. Here, I realized again, it’s
not what I have to give. I have nothing
to offer these people. I don’t know what
it’s like to be in need and I really don’t know how to help them or what their
needs are. I have a hard time
speaking/understanding French so really they have to have patience with me
while we try to have a little conversation.
So while I was there, I gave out some coffees and said hello, but I
think that the homeless people welcomed me more than I welcomed them. I think I will receive a lot from this experience too as I am trying to learn to
not be afraid of the “other”. Already
being there I’m learning about our common humanity.
A note about commenting- yeah you need a gmail account and to be honest I have a hard time figuring out how to do a new post all the time too, so I may change my blog to a different site, we'll see.
So, until next time, pray for me.
No comments:
Post a Comment